"properly practiced, knitting soothes
and it doesn't
hurt the untroubled spirit either."
Friday, May 18, 2007
Hey peeps, thanks for the comments! That was just 7 random things about me, too. Imagine if I'd done 7 (or 70) weird things or something. That would have given you some real entertainment. And don't think I couldn't do it, either. I am all kinds of weird.
So, I was thinking about something that I could post somewhat regularly to keep my loyal readers entertained. Y'all deserve something for sticking with me through (and despite) my erratic posting and constant whinging. And my Fridays, while still outrageously overpacked with work, are somewhat more predictable schedule-wise since my major client is off every Friday.
So here's what I'm thinking: I'm kind of a freak sometimes. If there's a new and bizarre way to injur yourself, I'll find it. If there's an unusual way to embarrass yourself in public, I've probably done it. If one in a brazilian people will have an automobile manufacturing error...well, you get the idea.
(For a prime example, see: my dental dramas of the last few months. The oral surgeon had never even heard of --let alone seen-- anyone having the extreme cases of dry socket that I did, requiring gum surgery and multiple bone extractions. Lovely.)
This is all a ridiculously long intro to tell you about my idea to use Fridays to relate to you some of the really dumb or weird things that I've done or experienced. Either I am extremely cursed, or I exist merely to entertain everyone I work with (and now you!). This is also proof that I have absolutely no sense of shame, since I'm willingly going to tell you a lot of really stupid things about me.
I will start with the most recent. Last week I was taping some pictures to the backside of a matte so that they wouldn't slip out of place in the frame. I couldn't find the scotch tape, so I got out the tape gun. Not a good idea. Really. Not good.
I set the tape gun on the couch beside me while I finished my work. Then The Boy brought me dinner on a tray (yes, we do eat on trays in front of the TV because we are pathetic, and also 9 years old). So I moved the tape gun. Onto the floor by the couch. Where I promptly forgot about it.
After dinner I pulled out my knitting and got down to some serious TV watching. Then I moved my leg to recross my legs, and somehow--heaven only knows how--I managed to slice my big toe open on the 'teeth' of the tape gun. Commence the weeping and gnashing of teeth. Oh, and not to be too graphic, but copious amounts of blood.
Logically I know that it looked much worse than it was because our extremities bleed the most. But, dudes! I was instantly 5 years old and freaking out about the blood and the pain and how the hell did I do this to myself???
The Boy, being an RN was all calm and collected with the foot washing, and iodine application (I screamed. I have a reputation as biggest wimp in the world to protect, you know). Then I was Neosporined to within an inch of my life. And, do you know how difficult it is to bandage the tip of your flipping big toe? Well, I am here to tell you that they need special band-aids for people like me.
Explaining the big ol' band-aids at work the next day was fun--yet [perhaps not so] surprisingly, my co-workers just shook their heads. There are only so many times people will believe your explanation of "bar-brawl" for your injuries before they begin to look at you like an accident-prone lunatic.
So there you go. Now you know a little more about me. What would you like to hear about next? How I sprained my wrist? How I sprained my ankle twice within one month? The first time I got on a bike in 20 years and proceeded to make a complete arse of myself? The Disneyland incident? Oh, I've got enough to keep you people going for some time. If you have a particular story you'd like to hear from the above list, let me know. Otherwise, I will ruminate on my most recent or memorable disasters for next Friday.